Fiction / Letter
Dear Jan,
The convention of writing a letter is to start with a greeting. An empty statement of hope towards the recipients’ good health. With your permission, I will forego that convent since your previous letters have made it beyond obvious that you are already in a deplorable state.
I remember the day I made your acquaintance very clearly, and I remember it because annoyances have a way of embedding themselves irreversibly into my mind. I don’t remember the place, the time of day, or even the occasion, but I do remember being annoyed. I remember being annoyed at the maddening, infuriating, and overall depressing quirk you foster.
Even I- a shy, awkward, bumbling, unassuming child as I was- could sense that lovely potential glowing inside you. I could sense the monumental entity that would one day soar unimaginable heights. I could sense the person you could be, and was left to stand on the ground in involuntary envy and appreciation. As our acquaintance lengthened, I was forced to bear witness as you mercilessly throttled that Jan-to-be, as you asphyxiated her, suffocated her under an entire grave of misconceptions. Instead of nurturing her, you ousted her like a weed.
All your life, you have striven to be someone else. You have striven to be someone society would adore and accept. You have quailed when society looked down on you; celebrated when they praised you. But you have never, never considered that you could be someone else: you.
I have been a bad friend. I consoled you in your despair and participated in your celebrations. Now I will do what I should have done in the first place. Slap you across the face (vicariously) and tell you what you need to do. I will tell you that you need to be YOU.
I could go on a rant here, detailing and defending all my arguments for being you, for telling the leeches in this world to screw off. But a bucket of icy water is far more effective at waking a sleeper than all the gentle persuasions in the world.
Stop living as someone else, stop trying to make others proud. Make yourself proud. Period.
I hope this sting gets across to you, however much it may deplete me in your eyes.
Kind regards,
Your loving friend
August